Learning Negotiation From A Child: Picking The Right Approach For Your Purchasing Negotiations.


Have you ever tried to negotiate with a 2 year old?

Were you surprised with their negotiation skills?

Well, my son is now almost 2 and half years old and has now discovered that he has a will - a very strong will at that. Typical of children his age, he is far more concerned with getting what he wants than with executing his mother or father's instructions.

It seems to me that as children we tend to be assertive rather than accommodating in our communication with others. We are only interested in meeting our own needs and wants rather than satisfying the needs and wants of others around us.

It is only as we age that we believe the world does not in fact revolve around us and that we have to fit into society in a responsible and positive way. We learn that we can not only do as we wish but also have to consider the rights, feelings and desires of others.

This made me think about the 5 foundational negotiation approaches and how you can use them to support the achievement of your negotiation goals.

1.Competitive negotiation

This is a style of negotiation that is predominantly assertive and focused on your own needs, wants and objectives.

2.Accommodating negotiation

This is a way of negotiation that is primarily focused on the needs, wants and goals of your counterpart whilst ignoring your own needs. Sales training programmes often support this negotiation strategy as the most appropriate strategy.

3.Compromising negotiation

Probably the most universally known of all negotiation strategies. This is a mode of negotiation where you meet your counterparts halfway. You get some of your needs, wants and goals met and you reciprocate for your counterparts.

4.Collaborative negotiation

This is a way of negotiation where you seek to satisfy all of the needs, desires and objectives of your counterpart and they do the same for you.

5.Avoiding negotiation

This is a way of interaction where you do not regard negotiation as the best method to reach your goals.

The important factors which will determine which of the above strategies should be in your negotiations is to respond to the following 3 questions:

a.How important is an ongoing relationship to you?

If the relationship is important, then you will not be able to be only competitive, you will have to at least compromise with your counterparts. If you do not address the needs of your counterparts, then it is unlikely that a meaningful relationship will develop.

b.How many alternatives are available to you?

If you have a host of alternatives available, you can afford to be more competitive. On the other hand, if you have only one option, then you will be forced to be more accommodating.

c.How much time is at your disposal?

If you have time on your side, then you can afford to be more competitive. The less time you have, the more accommodating you will have to be.

As you can see, it is important to ask yourself these 3 questions before you start negotiating so that you can pick the approach most suited to the situation at hand rather than just pursuing a negotiation strategy based only on your preference.

It is also important to remember that you should be flexible in your approach. You may want to amend your approach as new information becomes available during your negotiations.

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